Why healing sexuality was the key to healing my eating disorder.

 

Sex and nutrition have more in common than you think!

I, like 98% of the women on the planet once suffered years of eating disorders. Calorie counting, bulimia, excessive excersize, dieting, body hate; the lot. Most of us women have been there at one stage or another in our lives.

Never satisfied with how we look, no matter if we get to our 'goal weight' - it still isn't good enough.

This epidemic riddles so many women, silently killing our joy, self love; and connection to our powerful feminine essence.

My own journey with getting to the root cause of the years of disordered eating, led me to healing around sexuality. Denial of my feminine energy, as a result of guilt and shame around my sexuality after being sexually abused at a young age; later revealed the root cause of my battles with body image & food.

Think about it, sex and food what do they bring us ... pleasure.

When we deny or do not feel worthy or guilty around receiving pleasure, in any form, of course it affects our relationship with our sexuality & with food. The two biggest pleasures in life.

This. I believe is why so many of us women struggle with eating disorders, and body image issues. It is through the suppression of sexuality or wounds around sexuality; around embodying and embracing our feminine essence that brings us a whole host of issues with accepting pleasure in any form, from food to sex.

Just to get it clear, it doesn't mean if you have or struggle with eating disorders / body image that you were sexually abused. It is a collective consciousness thing that is penetrating most women on a deeply unconscious root level; i.e. we are not even consciously aware of its affects. It is the guilt, shame, confusion & fear and that our entire society holds around sexuality; that is penetrating our psyches; and cutting us off from our sexuality (which is our life force energy) & creating a great deal of confusion around it and consequently creating all sorts of off set symptoms, including body image issues, depression, anxiety etc.

So you are probably wondering how did I personally 'heal my sexuality' ?

It is still an on going journey that is for sure; that I am still delving deeper and deeper into.

But this is how it all began.....

In my experience, a few years ago divine guidance led me to healing with a male sacred sexuality shaman, who uses talking & body work as his modalities. After about 6 months of talking therapy around my sexual history, from first time, to bad/good experiences, to the sexual abuse; I ended up feeling comfortable and safe to have a private body work session. This particular healing modality involved sacred spot work. Which is hands on healing. Which you can understand why I took 6 months of talking to ease into it & feel safe (all part of the healing journey of trusting the masculine).

So basically what I have experienced is, the key to healing and awakening a woman's sexual energy is in her sacred spot, a region of highly sensitive tissue located about two inches up the front wall of the vagina (in Western sexology, this is the "G-spot"). Along with pleasures, sacred spot massage can also unleash memories of sexual confusion, repression, pain and abuse. We don't just store such memories in our minds, but in our bodies—and especially in the tissues around our second chakra (the genital region), which Tantra regards as the wellspring of our energy. The pain surrounding these memories must be addressed and released; for sexual healing to occur; before we can experience all the joy of sexual energy.

In my sessions I experienced pain in parts of my yoni (vagina) I never knew existed, which were brought to the surface and released. Just like any massage whereby you get muscle tension released, it is no different in the vagina. For me also, a big part of my personal healing was putting my trust in the masculine to support this healing journey with me. And also being respected, touched in such an intimate area with such honor, presence and love. Often we need to face the perpetrator of our original wound, in order to heal it. So for me, healing by a man; was the key to my healing around the pain, distrust and resentment towards the masculine, that I was holding in my body.

Basically this type of healing works deep within the framework of the body, so it is beyond the minds capacity for rational understanding, which is why all those psychologists and psychiatrists I went to never seemed to work with healing my eating disorder. It was just a mind race around the same issue over and over. This stuff is deep core stuff, that is stored in our bodies. I know this from direct experience. And I know from experience that it actually works.

How this helped with eating disorder? What I realised was a great deal of guilt I was holding in my body around receiving pleasure. For whatever reason, I won't go into but that is what was very present. I know for a fact, this is directly related to food. When I used to binge on naughty foods, it felt sooooo damn good, but that gut wrenching guilt paralyzed me, and made me feeling disgusting and forced me to purge & punish myself for allowing myself to feel intense pleasure. So once releasing where this was storing in my body, in my second chakra organs, and bringing such awareness to this, allowed me to really begin to heal the stuff around bulimia. For me it was the core root cause of the guilt around receiving pleasure or anything good in my life.

Working with this modality, is surely confronting; so you want to be discerning when it comes to exploring this path. In my experience, there are many tantra teachers, sacred sexuality practitioners out there; but a lot are operating out of ego and have their own self interests, so it can be daunting for women to start this work if they do not feel 100% safe.

How I can support you?   I now work with women now with eating disorders, anxiety & depression and often combine the healing around sexuality. Because I truly believe the two go hand in hand. At this stage, I do this through 1:1 talking coaching sessions, I offer a safe space to express & talk about individuals journey with sexuality by bringing awareness and offering self guided tools.

If you would like to connect & chat further on this topic or know someone who may benefit from this information, please do not hesitate to get in touch & share this article.

Other tools? Healing around the sacral chakra is also explored in my eBook The Spirit Sessions in session #2 which explores healing sexuality & coming to self acceptance. Click here to learn more & get the sessions.