For the Guys: How to best support your Woman when she is on her period.

I am constantly teaching women about their menstrual cycles; in particular how to connect with their sacred "moon time" & their beautiful bodies. That I feel it is necessary to share with the gentlemen, some wisdom, tips & insights into how to best support the women around them during this most beautiful time of the month.

Why "Moon Time" ?

Firstly, a lot of women call their period, their 'moon time' because, the natural time for a woman to bleed is either on the full or new moon. As we all know our bodies are made up of mostly water, and as the moon affects the tides of the oceans, it also affects the water, hormones and emotions in our bodies; therefore our menstrual cycles. When a woman is not on the pill, she naturally gets synced with bleeding on either the full or new moon. Hence, the term 'Moon Time' is used by many women. It is nice to refer it to this too. In a society where men have had no education around this sacred time, many heard from their misinformed fathers, relating to their mothers 'Time of the Month' - with negative connotations attached to it. If we have our men celebrating our moon time as much as we do, we empower, awaken & reconnect to these lost parts of the feminine psyche.

Get to know her cycle / the basics about periods in general

Simply start a conversation, get interested in her cycle. Ask her when she got her first period, what was it like? And get to know if she bleeds on the full or new moon. If she is regular, it is easy to mark in your iphone calendar when she will be both bleeding, and ovulating.

Normally each cycle is 28-30 days (one moon cycle/calendar month).

Day 1 marks the first day of bleeding which normally lasts between 1 - 7 days; and the first 1-3 days are extremely inward & reflective for her. During this time it is best to be aware of how sensitive she is, and ask her what she needs. If she needs some space from you, to be alone, respect that, offer that to her. Try and make at least the first 2 days of her bleeding, as low impact upon her and her body as possible. Make her some yummy food, give her a massage, ask her what she needs from you.

Day 7 - 14 is quite dynamic & high energy as she has just finished bleeding.

Day 12-14 is ovulation (where the eggs are being released, and she is most fertile).

Day 12 - 21 are quite expressive & she is normally very high in energy & ready to conceive, so a lot more juicy also. Obviously women bodies are designed to birth, and if the egg doesn't fertilsie her eggs that are being released, this is what results in the period..the shedding of the uterus lining, each month.

Day 21 - 28 are the days leading up to the next bleed, and she is very creative / and outward in energy; tending to things that need to be done before she retreats when she begins to bleed again. She is also getting prepared to let go of the month that just passed, literally by bleeding out her womb, so any emotions that she has not fully addressed may arise strongly during these days - what most people refer to as PMS. This is a time to hold space, not take anything too personally & witness without judgment. 

Learn how to hold space

What women need the most, regardless of bleeding, but MOSTLY the 1 week before she bleeds and during bleeding, is her man to know how to hold space for her. As I mentioned a lot of emotions from the month, get shed through the menstrual blood; it is a self clearing/ emotional detoxing time for her. So it can be yes, chaotic, depressive, explosive, dynamic - as men, we need you to learn how to hold space for everything that may come up, without taking it personally. Simply holding space, listening, not trying to fix. If what your woman is saying is completely irrational, do not try make sense of it, she just literally needs you to hold space, listen and be witnessed in her emotions; for the energy to be freed up. The moment you begin to get defensive, or try fix her emotional turmoil, she will shut down, and or get even more emotional.

Be sensitive to her needs

When she is bleeding, her body is extra sensitive. All her senses are heightened, small douses of DMT are being released from her brain & she is a lot more psychic & hyper aware. Therefore this is an extremely spiritual time for her, give her space to go inwards & meditate, journal, and listen to the wisdom coming through her. Don't decide to spring new ideas, or family matters, or financial / emotional stresses upon her in the first 2 days of bleeding at least!!! It can wait!

If she is experiencing any cramps, or pains - particularly in hips, lower back & buttox; offer a massage. Foods high in magnesium help to ease cramps and pains, such as CACAO. Also realise she is losing large amounts of blood, so if you can support by making sure you eat meals rich in protein and iron and Vitamin B12. Nourishing, wholesome, grounding foods are great, brown rice, root vegetables, homemade soups.

Find space for yourself too

We realise this is a pretty confusing time for you also, and we appreciate all you do for us. Make sure you keep up your regular practice as well, do not abandon yourself, we are bleeding but we are not disabled. We appreciate all you do, but make sure you keep meditating, or doing yoga, or playing sports, or whatever you love, during our time of bleeding, so to keep yourself sane :)

Most of all the having the awareness and understanding of how sacred our Moon Time is is a huge starting point. Realizing the menstrual blood is sacred, not dirty. The woman's body is a magical sacred creation, not a foreign place. That emotions are beautiful, not distracting or useless. That the more you celebrate & support your woman on her moon time, the closer your intimate relationship will become. 

I hope this has helped. Please share around; it is my greatest wish to educate and inspire more people to understand the beauty in this special time for woman.