Relationships are one the most beautiful parts of the human experience.
They allow us to dive so deep into our self through the reflection of another and The depth of love & intimacy we can share is often the biggest catalyst for our souls transformation.
Where love is fully present, it gets to purify within us all that is not aligned with love. The power of this is frightening and liberating all at once.
What if we entered relationship with this awareness. Instead of once the attachments begin to form, we begin to try and mould / change / altar the other into the person we are needing. What if we fully could just accept one another and our selves, and realise.... maybe this person is not for me any more?
What I see a lot (in the collective consciousness) is this:
1. Men complaining they need a 'woman' to hold their insecurities & fears around inadequacy and fear of failure. "Just be a woman" aka Please be my Mother.
2. Women complaining they need more a conscious man who can hold their emotions. "Just be a man" aka Please be my Father.
Each of these are valid things we are needing from the other, as mans greatest fear is being vulnerable and appearing 'weak' to a woman, and a woman fears if he is in that he can no longer 'protect' her & this brings up all her insecurities, how can he now hold me if I am now holding him constantly? Here begins the core wounds projecting back and forth, separation from God & parents all begins to end up in a shit storm, 'spiritually' worded as 'exploring your shadows'. Yes there are shadows at play of course, with the intensity of love and light birthed in human relating, there is bound to be intensity of shadow - light shines and illuminates shadows.
But there has to come to a point where self acceptance and self love is honoured. Is this relationship actually what I am ready for? Do I love this person more than I love myself? If I am actually honest with myself - am I even ready to grow into that part? Maybe not, and that is completely fine! Self love comes with radical self acceptance and trust in your souls unique journey.
I see so much of this gender bashing, men complaining about women not being evolved enough, and women complaining about men. Take out the 'evolved' or 'conscious' spiritual jargon, and lets drop into the essence of the heart.
No human being, man or woman, needs, wants or deserves to be told they are meant to be somewhere other than where they exactly are right now in their evolutionary path.
If someone is still unconscious man/woman, let them be. By bringing in these unconscious shaming tactics on one another is not going to heal the situation at all.
What is going to heal this, is radical acceptance & unconditional love.
And that may mean - if you are not able to meet your partners needs any longer. That the relationship may have to take its natural course.
What I also notice / experience is this:
We are attracting partners with the exact core wounds we are needing to heal.
This is kind of the point of conscious relating. As painful as it is.
So if we have a fear of not being accepted for who we are. We will attract someone who doesn't accept us or themselves. If we have a belief that a man to 'provide or protect' us or be this 'spiritually conscious man' we will attract the opposite of this. If we have a belief that a woman should be able to nurture us and be our caretaker , we will be attracted to a woman who is fully independent of us. All of this only to reinforce our core belief "I am not loveable". Also to allow us to feel the core pain and wound of separation we formed as children.
When we can see this all from the higher perspective, and see the kindred souls coming in and out of our life for such reasons of growth & ultimate freedom our soul is yearning for through the intimacy & love we share. We can understand, not go into story, but just ALLOW life to unfold. Growth and self development is best done when LIVING, without a story. Life and existence is always going to bring you exactly what you need for your highest growth potential. So patience and trust in this higher force, is needed.
It is time to quit buying into this spiritual bull shit that is trying to tell you in another format, just like traditional marketing of any product > "YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH, YOU NEED THIS PRODUCT/HEALING MODALITY/NEW BELIEF SYSTEM ETC TO FEEL BETTER AND BE BETTER". This is horrible, and true healing and spirituality points you back to your own answers, it relaxes you & cultivates a deep peace inside of you.... it points you back to a heart full of compassion for self & others. It points you back to accepting, I am exactly where I need to be & I am okay with that. It empowers you.
This is the relationship with you & Divine. All reflections of that, that the divine send to you are a blessing. Give gratitude.