Is physical beauty a blessing or a curse?


This is a really interesting question, and what I am going to say may be confronting or comforting to you... who knows?

I have had a few conversations with various others the past week around this very topic. Beauty. And the nature of beauty, mainly physical beauty.

From my own experience, I have struggled with being physically 'beautiful'. And actually sometimes felt it is a curse. Wow cringe, I feel a cringe saying that. I assume so many judgements from saying this...But please hear me out deeper...

You see, our society is conditioned into this love / hate relationship with beauty, much like sexuality really. We love and admire it, we almost exploit it in the fashion and beauty industries; yet we can despise it at the same time. It can often bring up all of our own insecurities and parts of self that are not 'beautiful' when being faced with a mirror of beauty; in any form.

What we need to realise is that we only really know ourselves through our internal body, not the physical body. This internal body is consciousness (soul). But the misery is that many of us do not know our internal and our image in our own eyes of ourselves, is created by others. So we are consistently looking outside of ourselves for our identity and definition of self. And in a society that places so much emphasis on external, we are bound to feel disconnected from the inner reality.

I have always felt uncomfortable around being physically beautiful. And actually for most of my life I never actually believed I was. I could see a physically beautiful image when I looked in the mirror, but something deep inside never quite felt the match to that. I was way more interested in this feeling of inner beauty. And it annoyed me that people automatically assumed I was okay just because of how I looked. I remember when I suffered from depression people saying 'how can you be depressed, you are so pretty?'... (um what?). Also, I've always been much more attracted to someones soul vs. their looks. And many of my boyfriends were always 'average joes' and I remember people commenting horrible things like 'You are so pretty, you can do so much better than him'. I couldn't believe this was coming out of their mouths! Sadly this is what our society is based upon....So much identification with the physical.

Then there is the feeling of going deeper into feeling inner beauty, and almost this fear of having both inner and outer beauty. Fear of being 'too much' or 'too beautiful'. There is some belief around "oh I cannot possibly have inner beauty and external beauty, so I will give up one, to not intimate people, or be too much". So I went to the extreme, and actually manifested acne on my face a few years ago. It is interesting what the deep subconscious is doing on a physical and spiritual level along our journeys, to teach us lessons.

I was denying my physical beauty. Because I felt men were only interested in me because of the way I looked. And I was only getting things my way because of the way I looked, and I hated that. I know there is much more to me than than just looks. So I tried to de-beautify myself on the external, to attract only those experiences and men that were interested in my soul.

I truly believe my soul was given this physical appearance and body for this very reason. To teach others that it is not just about the physical.

You see, this is the problem with when we identify too much with our external image. We begin to believe others opinions about us, over our own. And it is often worse with people, women in particular who are physically beautiful; given where we are at in our consciousness, so identified with the physical body and appearance. It actually leaves one, starved on the inside, and lost as to their own image of themselves.

I believe we are given these bodies and looks for our souls core lessons. To have our entire identity shaped around what others see of us, is bound to set us up for suffering. This is why modelling is such a dangerous industry; to have this career without having an inner knowing and self assurance first - is bound for suffering.

We need to understand we are much more than this physical body, we are given these external vehicles for a reason, to learn certain lessons, according to our souls evolution. The body is the house for our souls. It is not to be mistaken for who we are. Beauty is neither a blessing nor a curse when we understand this. Beauty just is. In all its expressions beauty then reflects back to us that which we know is innate within our essence.