Sexuality & Spirituality : Integrating the two with Tantra.


Many clients come to me with similar concerns; mostly around sexuality. For men, erectile dysfunction, orgasm difficulties, fears of intimacy, relationship problems, premature ejaculation. For women; difficulty with orgasm, body image concerns, fear of intimacy, menstrual cycle problems.

I believe is a good indicator of what is going on spiritually. What is really going on inside. I see sexuality concerns as a 'symptoms' of what is actually going on deeper; at the core of us; at the core of our spirit. {Here is an article I recently wrote about The Real Reason You May Struggle With Orgasm.}

What I see is a lot of the time; like most symptoms; people wanting a quick fix. "I want to learn how to be multi orgasmic, and an amazing lover" is a common request. SURE! Don't we all...But it is just like any condition - for permanent change you can't just mask it over with a bandaid quick fix. Sure that might help temporarily - but what is REALLY GOING ON ON a deeper level? This is what I am concerned with; and what will actually create positive change within; which is the starting point to positive influence of humanity as a whole.

We need to get to the root cause of these symptoms showing up sexually as a by product. To create real transformation.

Many traditions, and religions alike separate the two as opposite ends of the spectrum.

But Tantra as an integrated system welcomes and integrates the two; because sexuality is a part of life. And Tantra is a science of life.

When we disregard the very thing that got us here in the first place; make it as if we are 'beyond' that - how are we meant to live integrated lives?

Tantra is a science of life. It sees the whole of existence as one. Through cultivating a relationship with the divine - the absolute non-dual consciousness; we begin to embody this as our individual realities; however that may look to us. The sacredness is seen in every aspect of life - including our sexuality and our relationship to it.

"Tantra is not just philosophical teaching; it is a science by which immense power can be generated. All esoteric sciences the world over are diligently kept secret, and so too is tantra. This is not because there is anything to hide, but because this science is so powerful that it is meant only for a practitioner who has faith in the practice, motivation to practice it and the self-control not to misuse the power accruing from it. It is power that you are dealing with; the power of consciousness." Sri Vijnana Bhairava Tantra

And for those who are still operating from ego and desiring more 'personal power' to generate 'personal gain' through their sexuality - this path will surely weed you out quick smart; one way or another.

The key to integrating sexuality and spirituality; must begin within first. The journey within. To the root cause. To the core of ourselves. From this place - the tantric sexuality benefits will show up.

We cannot go the other way around. From the outside in... it just doesn't work. For true transformation & happiness.

Sure we can learn some fancy breathing techniques; and have some new bodily experiences. But if we still find ourselves feeling those same feelings of emptiness when we are not getting a fix from that temporary 'high'. We are better off going back to basics.

For most of us we are not at the level of receiving the full transmission of the kundalini awakening (the most powerful energy once awakened in our bodies & what Tantra & Yoga are preparing us for). We need to prepare ourselves so we don't harm ourselves. Because when Kundalini is awakened when we are not ready - we can end up frying our nervous systems, entering psychotic states. {further reading on this in Darrel Irving's book "Kundalini - The Serpent of Fire"} .

THIS IS WHAT TANTRA IS REFERRING TO WHEN WE TALK ABOUT TANTRA BEING SO POWERFUL. Many real tantriks say "You wouldn't give a dynamite to a child, much like Tantra to the layperson" - Swami Satyasandgananda Saraswati.

What I normally suggest and teach first is meditation - {dharana meditation the practice of focusing awareness on a mantra, yantra, or mandala that embodies where your current consciousness is at to cultivate mindfulness & purifying of the mind}, the practice of Yoga asana (postures), bhandas (energy locks in the body) and pranayama (breathing techniques) - we need to get our bodies, mind and spirits fully prepared FIRST.

Us westerners - we want it fast, we want it all - but it doesn't work that way when it comes to spirituality. This is what most of the Gurus and Spiritual Teachers here in India observe of us; and see through our bullshit.

These advanced sexual practices such as retention of ejaculation whilst orgasm, full body orgasm, female ejaculation, sacred union through tantric love making, multiple orgasm all these epic experiences - come first from looking within.

If we aren't intimate with ourselves - how the heck are we meant to be intimate with anyone else? If we do not know ourselves.... how the heck is anyone else meant to know us? If we cannot even look at ourselves in the mirror - how the heck are we meant to soul gaze into someone elses soul?

The journey must begin within first. This is the link between sexuality and spirituality.

This is the real path of Tantra.

This may come to disappoint a lot of you. But if you want this the REAL tantra; the essence it is not a quick fix solution. It is a brutal path of introspection and honesty. Being really honest with ourselves, loving and fully accepting ourselves exactly who we are. Then from that place showing up in the world; showing up in the bedroom; showing up ... IN LOVE.