GUEST POST by DAKINI CHANTELLE
Many times we have heard how necessary it is for men to love, appreciate & hold space for women. But what about the feminine in a man's body?
Often times, what I see is that the feminine in a man feels very alone and unsupported. We cannot have a healthy relationship, when the masculine in a woman's body keeps ignoring the feminine in a man's body.
What this means is that women need to embody "healthy masculine energy" (refer to this article); otherwise the feminine in a man will not feel safe. What does this mean? It means that she is able to witness without judgement, hold space and create safety for the feminine in a man to open up like petals of a rose, exposing vulnerability, liveliness, authenticity, sensuality, desire & grace. Like a moth to a flame, the external masculine is able to surrender & get close to a wo-man who has and IS her own man. She needs nothing and no-one but welcomes it all. She is able to be patient and kind, strong and stable and understanding of HIS emotional body without perceiving that he is weak or a pussy or too sensitive.
Beautiful men who dance with joy and embody the beauty of the feminine need our support... YES!!!! Okay, so how do we do that? The same way we would like men to support our feminine.
If we want men to embody their feminine qualities of radiance and the light of love and to really open up to us; and come to the relationship with something REAL; deep and authentic connection; then they need to feel the essence of our woman's "man". To feel feminine, a man needs to be with a woman who has a healthy masculine. Firm, confident, on purpose, aware, alert, decision maker, asserts, is not needy or clingy, can put her foot down. This is the masculine that ALL feminine energies secretly desire and always submit to.
Who is the feminine in a man that needs our support? Emotional, irrational.... They want what they can't have ... they say one thing, mean another - and then do something completely different... they run hot and cold on you for no reason at all; or get mad at you for the slightest thing.
For a wonderful relationship; the man in us women has to hold space for all this and at the same time set boundaries. When the feminine in a man feels your guy holding space for his emotions, irrationality, mood swings and when he feels your healthy boundaries, he will respect your 'man', whereas if he realizes he cant have his feelings and he can push past your boundaries, he will start losing respect for you and won't trust.
The feminine is a part of all of us... both men and women! We need to give this part of a man the same compassionate understanding that we expect. His inner feminine must also be given the patience, support and guidance to evolve from any wounds of insecurity, so that the beautiful radiant creative essence that is within him can be embraced and integrated.
There is so much pressure on men to 'be the Shiva' - all the time. To hold space ... to be the rock.... Ladies, are we ready to step up and be that for men also? It is an equal dance between the two we can play with each polarity within the container of relationship. So that they can be held? So that they can be given the space to blossom and heal? So that they can weep in your arms? or sometimes be witnessed in their rage?
When we discover that we are not just in a relationship with one but with two, that each of us has both a masculine and a feminine and begin exploring the relationship between all four energies, relationships will be a sacred dance; rather than a struggle.
About the Author
Dakini Chantelle (BA (Hons), LLB, CRT.IV Anthroposophy, Shamanic Tantrika) is a
an accomplished and gifted Transformational Guide, as well as an international speaker, seminar leader and writer. In 2009, fueled by her desire for growth and transformation, she stepped away from being a successful CEO of a national sales organisation to follow her passion to guide people into the sacred dance of the divine masculine and feminine... bringing wholeness to those who can embody this bliss.