The real reason you may struggle with orgasm

When two lovers are making love & if they are both no self, then orgasm happens. Then your body energy, your whole being loses all identity - they are no more them selves, they have fallen into the absence.
— Osho


I receive many requests for coaching around the big O. I hear from many women who are after tantra & embodiment coaching around the fact they cannot orgasm at all. And for many men, orgasm too quickly; or also not at all. This is the number 1 concern people contact me about.

Beyond sexuality, lets dive deeper.

Because in my opinion, what is going on sexually is a pretty damn good indication of what is going on inside of us on greater spiritual scale. For when we are in our most vulnerable state, with a lover - is when all our deepest wounds appear, all our insecurities, all that is unresolved within us; is being witnessed bare, raw and there is no where to run & hide; but to face the issues straight square in the face / the reflection of the other.

This is clearly the most powerful aspect of human relationships, a container to literally reflect back to us all that is not fully loving and whole within; a good indication of where we still seek love outside of us; only to realise the love we think they are giving us is just a reflection of the love that is already within us.

So what is going on?

Sexuality and Spirituality go hand in hand. Lets just get that straight.

If you cannot face directly your sexuality; you will never discover your true spirituality.
— White Tigress Manual


For it is for this exact reason. When we reclaim our sexuality, in a holistic way; we are reconnecting back to God/Goddess. By this I mean, we are connecting to the WHOLE place inside of us; that is already there; that which we have disconnected from. From the initial core separation wound that has us all fucked up & under the illusion we are disconnected from one another.

We all came from sex. Up until that critical point of our childhood, we were directly connected with source/god/goddess/universe (whatever you believe in); then as the rational brain kicks in we transferred this onto our parents who we saw as our God & Goddess. When our egoic patterns then began to form and we no longer felt connection to source - to our parents; for they are merely humans ... the core wound around separation began. Separation from a higher power, and separation from ourselves, all inner dualities now begin. Which is what the ego loves, to latch onto an identify in the form of a spectrum on the polarity pendulum. To keep us separate externally and internally.

So how does this all affect your orgasm & sex life?

Basically as Osho says, when we are back to this place of non separation, wholeness, stillness, no mind, deep meditation, no self - is when true orgasm can occur.

It is true.

If we are still in the mind / ego. We cannot fully drop into this still space and truly experience sexuality as a gateway to spirituality. A gateway to connecting back to our infinite whole potential; and experience mind blowing orgasm.

In my personal experience, the places I go to during deep love making have been the most profound spiritual experiences of my life. This experience is blissful & meditative, and one goes into a complete present state of non duality, in my experience it feels like the most intense meditation ever, and there is no ME anymore, I am not identified with being a woman or man, it is just blank.

I speak genderless, as for both men & women I feel the biggest indication of this Orgasm epidemic - that that is clearly an indicator symptom of what is going on collectively much deeper. It indicates the desperate yearning for you to go deep inside; to look at our core wounding of separation from mother & father; look at the moment you began to lose faith in something bigger than you and become en trapped in the ho hum of life as you now know it; when did you lose that magical spark? What was the catalyst to this? For this was the catalyst to break you into pieces & believe you are in fact not a wholesome being who has everything inside of yourself.

Sexuality is the gateway to Spirituality. And Tantric Sexuality probably the most fast tracked & intense path; not to be taken lightly.

What is your sexuality indicating on a deeper level about yourself?

For more information & if you would like to dive deeper. I am available for 1:1 Tantra & Embodiment Coaching; either in person or Skype. Click here for more information.