Are You Open? In Relationships. An Open Heart & Mind Goes a long Way!

Are you Open? In relationships?

Are you open hearted & open minded.

It's about time we started talking relationships under the Spiritrition umbrella. My favourite topic! Relationships and the human psychology and all things in between fascinates me. I've delved in Tantra, Sacred Sexuality & through my own experiences learnt a lot in my humble 26 years. But essentially ~ as we all know if there is one thing in our society that will trigger most of our ‘stuff', it is a sexual relationship.

“Relationship is an opportunity to see a reflection of everything that is not loving and not healed within us.” ~ Andrew Barnes, Author of Relationship Tantra

So what am I referring to by being 'open'? Most people will automatically jump to the conditioning of open relationship being an opportunity to just sleep with as many people as they wish whilst still keeping their primary partner around. Yes this does come with the territory of Polyamory; and it can be a beautiful thing if practiced with open clear communication; crystal clear boundaries and high levels of awareness.

But what I am referring to is being 'open' ~ open on all levels. Open hearted, open minded, and if you wish open legged ~ maintaining a heart space integrity and honoring.

The way the old paradigm of relating operates is that we operate on a strict monogamous way; somewhat caging in our partner to play out the particular gender roles accordingly. If one acts out of the 'expected' gender role; difficulties arise. For example, husband wants to stay at home with the kids, or wife decides she wants to support the family financially. In the old paradigm, limited awareness is brought to the table, and fear is often the primary motivation for relationship ~ fear of never meeting anyone else, fear of not being complete so finding completeness in another, jealousy around opposite sex friends and massive bounds of control and manipulation.

In the new paradigm of relating, the polarities of masculine and feminine are becoming more and more integrated. Every single one of us has masculine and feminine aspects. If we can cultivate both of these polarities within ourselves then we can create what Tantra refers to as the Sacred Union. Once this is achieved all that is left for us to do in relationship is to share because we no longer need.

Then as we are 2 wholesome beings becoming 3 (each other as two individuals and a third higher co-creation). Old paradigm of relating plays on the sad fantasy of 2 becoming 1.

So by being open ~ As we are two whole beings sharing a human experience, sharing in the joys of life, open to the abundant flow of divine love. By divine love I am referring to love as an expression of consciousness. Divine love is the motivation for existence. It is our attraction to what we know as truth and beauty. It is expressed in the beauty of a flower, in nature, in miracles. This is the love as the principle of the universe - not the sentimental emotions of human experience. This is true love. The love that is experience of what we call divine and appears in all forms of truth and beauty.

As we are attuned into divine love flow, we are open to let the flow and current of love be freely expressed to all beautiful souls we come across. We don't simply 'reserve' our love for our partner only, or our family and close knit of friends. We are OPEN to receiving the abundance of divine love from the entire universe, and OPEN to sharing that expression of truth and beauty in every single moment, with whomever / whatever we encounter. As the veils of separation between us dissolve we realise we are all one divine expression of consciousness / awareness, not separate beings of me vs. you.

This is the idea behind Polyamory! Most of the time, in my experience, I have a primary partner, and it is not as if I am sleeping with a multitude of other men and women; although if the flow is there I am not closed to it. But most often, I am just OPEN to sharing love with other men, and women. Because why would I close myself off from such beautiful experiences. It is surely a way to create resentment between partners and eventually affairs, lying and low level awareness. If everything is OPEN there is nothing to hide? Why would you want to hide what you truly feel drawn to? Doesn't make sense.

The key is boundaries, awareness and lots of open communication always! And as long as every intention is coming from your heart space, then it is in line with your truth. The difference between desire and heart awareness is vast!

The way I see it is ~ we don't just have one friend in the world right? We have a number of friends that each bring out different parts of us, highlight different parts of our selves and shine light on parts that which we need to be made aware of in order to grow. Why is this any different from our sexual relationships? We can have our partner but why be closed off from other members of the same and opposite sex? We are massively closing ourself off from not only open love flows in many forms it doesn't have to always be about sexual encounters, but also just in general, closing off our infinite potential; possibilities, opportunities, growth and freedom from love. As we close off from the world we begin to shrivel, contract and limit ourselves massively.

Open, expand. Receive and give the abundant current of love.


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