I get really pissed off with all this talk of white light, "go white light yourself","white this white that", like little "white whimsical fluffy clouds".
True. White light is beautiful, essential, magical and incredibly powerful.
But what most of us don't realise is that our "light" embodies both white and dark light.
Like all things in life we must have balance. Balance is the key. Integration is the key.
How can we know, love and appreciate the white light~ if we haven't yet met our dark?
This is a huge area we explored at my retreat training last week in Perth with ISTA (International School of Temple Arts).
I personally have come from what I interpreted as the depths of the 'darkness' in my life ~ my history with eating disorder, depression, drugs, alcohol, family crisis etc. into what I now interpret as the 'light'. I'm consider myself happy, on path now right & I am living my soul purpose.
...But what I didn't realise until recently, is that ~ although I was in the depths of my internal and external darkness ~ I never really loved and accepted all those parts of me that I was experiencing.
And what I now realise is the 'dark energy' is not a bad thing. In fact is is incredibly powerful and necessary.
How can we love ourselves fully... if we do not love all parts of ourselves? Including the bad, the ugly, the horrific, the wild and untamed. Personally I feel this is where the real raahhh and substance is anyways.
When we don't love and accept the darkness, it ends up manifesting as what we know as 'shadow'. Shadow is all that is operating from our darkness on an unconscious level. Those not so pleasant parts of us that; if we avoid looking at, end up showing in our behaviour on an unconscious level. And in worse case scenario ~ manifest as disease in the body.
An example from my own experience ~ for most of my life up until a few years ago I held a deep self loathing for myself, underneath this was so much anger and rage towards myself ~ I now see it manifested in chaotic self destructive behaviour upon myself and others and also manifested in my body as my eating disorder ~ anorexia/bulimia is directly linked with anger and a deep self denial/hatred.
The moment we stop and look at our dark side and bring it to the "light". The freer we are to love and accept ourselves fully and wholly.
A basic explanation of the integration process; in my interpretation of it is the following:
White energy~ embodies all that is super conscious and beautiful about us, all that we put forth and manifest through our intuition and vision into the world. It embodies our wisdom, truth and beauty. Using white light energy (intuition) we are able to sense opportunities others may miss. It is held in our awareness and will. It represents source energy from the cosmos, that we bring forth through our higher chakras (crown and third eye).
Dark energy~ embodies itself in the lower chakras, manifesting through emotions/sex/mind. It represents earth energy, therefore keeps us 'grounded'. It represents our sovereignty. It represents that base energy, our fire, rage, sex, creativity, passion. Used in a productive way it embodies our willingness to stand up for ourselves and fight for what we believe in; it is our cock and balls so to speak.
Heart energy ~ when both dark and white light are fully seen and loved, we can integrated the two energies from above & below, into our heart and therefore fully 'living from our hearts'. We love and accept not only the good parts of us, but also those parts that we are ashamed of, those that we don't exactly show straight up to people.
How to safely explore & love your Darkness?
I once used drugs and alcohol to tap into this energy. Which is pretty common for most of society unfortunately. It allows us to lose inhibitions & really lose our shit. I have found a more safe and effective way for me personally, (feel free to try also) is to get out of the mind and let my body speak and do what it needs to do. I like to put on some hardcore marilyn manson, or rage against the machine music and dance the shit out of it. I also like to go into nature and scream, and call forth the energy from the earth (the dark primal base energy).
I scream, I yell, I throw a tantrum, I cry, I bash pillows, I let my body move how it wants to move; without judgement. Our bodies hold all the wisdom & suppressed emotion so by allowing it to move freely how it wants is such an effective way to explore the unexpressed/suppressed parts which are often HELD in our bodies. And just let it move through us with intuitive movement and expression.
Another way could be to simply write out those parts of yourself; that you are willing to admit that you try avoid looking at. If you are stuck - a good indication is by looking at the qualities in others that trigger you. These are representing your shadow - those parts of your dark side that are being expressed unconsciously. Then learn to embrace, and love these parts of you.
This is now safely taking 'self-love' to the next level my Spirit Sisters. Love yourself, ALL parts of yourself, be free, be wild, be unashamed and untamed. I love you all for coming on this journey with me.
Wish to dive deeper?? Shadow work is explored further in my Coaching program, my unique coaching method that ensures radical self acceptance, self love & tools to access your inner wisdom which allows you to live life on YOUR TERMS, be finally free, love your body, yourself your life and be happy ~ be in touch to have a session.
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