Yep you heard me say it! Give yourself full permission to go there, if you need to!
Yesterday I was going through some pretty heavy stuff. Lots of resistance, fears, and negative emotions. I kept trying to run away from my self by distracting myself in a plethora of random activities ~ I could not just sit still and be with myself. The emotions were way too high; running through me like electricity. I hadn't had this binge feeling for a while, but often when I am experiencing such high intensity emotions, it can often trigger me to turn no where else but to food, in an attempt to stuff the emotional hole that I cannot seem to fill or face within me.
So you know what I did, as I posted on my FB page yesterday ~ I took my ass out into nature sat under a huge tree and binged. I binged on all sorts of delicious treats ~ some carob coated bananas, some bliss balls, some raw chocolate. I knew exactly what I was doing, was fully conscious and I went there.
I went there..without judgement.
I FULLY gave myself permission to just go wild and "eat" my emotions.
You know what ... It felt so unbelievably great.
Afterwards I felt as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I could finally sit with what it was I was avoiding within me. Then I meditated amongst the trees fully feeling everything, the pain, the depths and sat in that space without running away.
I am in full awareness that this is not the most 'appropriate' (according to who anyways, right?) way of dealing with things, but I just had to surrender to it and not be so hard on myself and realise I am a human!
The key ~ was I had given myself full permission to go to the depths. To not deny what I seriously needed in that moment & I didn't judge myself or make myself feel shitty or guilty afterwards.
So many people I know suppress these pleasurable desires we have within, which may in fact just be what we need to push through into revealing the truth and going deeper into the depths of what is REALLY behind the desires. We suppress it, and judge ourselves for it. We create guilt and shame around feeling pleasure; that sometimes only chocolate and sex can bring!
We are suppressing what brings us a momentary pleasure; and end up bottling these deep desires until they eventually explode in a full blownemotionally and physically meltdown. It gets stored in our bodies, in our cells as tension and pain; and we then find it a struggle to move through life freely; as we are holding onto so much 'shit' and 'suppressed' feelings.
The key here is ~ Giving yourself FULL permission to really just FEEL it. If you are feeling shitty; go to the depths of it. Really go there deep into it, however that looks ~ don't go half assed, as there will surely be residual shitty feelings that will still linger around and stash themselves in your body later.
Remembering to always listen to your body and intuition; always practising awareness, being aware of exactly what you are doing, staying conscious. You may know that something is not exactly the best way to cope; but if it feels right in that moment, don't force yourself to do some practice that you learnt from a text book or someone else that clearly does not feel right for you. YOU know how best to cope, YOU have all the answers within you; so draw upon this and really be honest with yourself. Be gentle and never judge yourself, always be kind to yourself and just bring about awareness to each and every eb and flow of emotion.
I can guarantee you, if you really allow yourself to go there. Go to the depths, binge, cry, scream ~ a huge weight will be lifted off your shoulders, and you can then move forward through into something so beautiful and clear on the other side.
Just like every flow of life, the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful ~ it is just so important to FEEL each and every emotion/experience in its fullest.
This always comes through complete and utter presence.
Honor your body, honor your soul & listen to what it needs.
Remember we are human ~ we all go through ups and downs, it is just important to always stay aware and present in each flow and never to judge yourself. Just observe what is happening and let it pass through you in which ever way YOU know is going to best serve you in that moment.
Amen sisters, take the pressure off yourselves ~ it feels amazing.