That is right ... You Are Awesome! If you don't know the answer to the question - who am I without my titles - without my degree, without my career, without my relationship, without my friendships; then at least take away this one message above as a starting point, and continue reading to dive deeper into the self discovery pool.
This sounds like a really simple question, but so many of us are forever yearning to answer it with truth and integrity. I recently attended an Engineering Ball - which is totally out of my comfort zone, but hey I like really jumping out of it; and just as well as not only did I learn a host of random engineering facts, but more importantly, a conversation with a first year engineering dude was the inspiration for this blog post. Anyways I was chatting to this young guy, and he just kept going on and on about his future engineering career and how much cash he is going to make when he is finished and how awesome he is going to be when he is all cashed up and surrounded by all the babes and his new Aston Martin. I just listened and observed and asked him very politely - 'but dude, who are you now? Like right now?' And he replied 'Aahhhh...so yeah I'm probably going to get the Dean's award this year for my grades'. I didn't want to push it any further and bruise the kids fantasy of future P-Diddy video clip style livin'. I simply said to him, 'You know I would still be talking to you even if you weren't an Engineering student, so don't think I only am here because of that aiiight!' (I didn't say aiiight, I just am still in P-Diddy video clip mode ha ha!)
Anyways this is not only something the young budding Engineering dude struggles with, but much to society's core is this very similar struggle. We are all so fixated on 'defining' ourselves by what we do; that when we happen lose interest in that activity/relationship/job/whatever ... we freak out and have some quarter/mid/general life crisis.
What you do is not the same as who you are!
Now this opens up a can of worms! When we meet people for the first time, before the questions 'so...what do you do?' - things are just plain old more REAL! When we ask someone new what they do for a living, or where they live, or if they're married or not - we can often subconsciously categorize them into that little 'box' and say for example we have had a bad experience with another person of that profession or walk of life - we have the tendency to judge and associate that person with our previous negative experience. And anyways these factors are not who they are, so they don't really even matter! Notice next time you meet someone new, you might have a great energetic attraction to them and be chatting about light heart felt things - then once the heady stuff comes in the 'so...what do you do?' questions - conversation often takes a dampen and often judgements start flowing.
Yeah of course its cool to discuss these things - but when we don't know who we are without the layers, this is where we are simply always defining ourselves by something 'out there' - which is not exactly authentic and truth.
Forget about being impressive and commit to being real!
People who are the most interested in life are the most interesting people. Interest in presence tops "worldly", "bank account balance", and "suburb of residence", "career choice" or "relationship status" any day! What do I mean by presence? I am talking about defining your current situation or life status that feels honest to you whenever you deliver it. For example you might be an accountant by day, but have a burning passion for Yoga & wellness and teach Yoga on your weekends. So in response to the "So..What do you do?" you could reply with authenticity, presence and integrity something like "Well I am an Accountant by day but a Yoga teacher by night. Soon I will stop living this dual life, but right now I am digging for my dream gig as that is what feels right, now in my life". Be proud, be loud and be real!
When you let go of defining yourself with something "out there" - the deeper soul shines.
Once we let go of defining who we are with the things we do, or how we live our life - we can really get to the core of who we are and create space for impeccable growth and learning. I once read a story of a woman who literally lost it all, her business went bankrupt, her husband left her, and to top it off her house burnt down in a freak fire. However she later discovered this was a blessing in disguise because there was nothing or no one else out there for her to define herself with. So she had no other choice but to go within and figure out who she really is, what she values, and where she wanted to go from there. Literally there is only one way you can go when you are at rock bottom, and that is up. She evaluated her priorities, went deep within and ended up transforming into her true calling of her line of work and met the love of her life shortly after.
A lot of us (including myself) are going through rapid transformations this year, energetically this is a time of rapid transformation and expansion. However it is up to us to make the choice of growth or contraction. In true Matrix style - you can either take the blue pill or the red pill - the choice is yours. Who you are, who you truly are is beauty! Once you come from a place of love and beauty, in everything you do, everyone you meet, everything you say and think - no one gives a crap about how you generate the energy that is money to pay the rent. It is all about keepin' it real!